You never ever really know someone. Even if you think you do, trust me you dont. It doesnt matter how many days, nights, minutes, even seconds that you have spent with them.  You never know what they are truly thinking or what their next move will be.

You held me the day i was born and you held me through seventeen and a half year of life. It comes to turn out what i thought was picture perfect was not what so ever.  The one thing that held me together when things felt like they were falling apart was you, and what you created around us all.  A warm beautiful loving family. The day you decided to walk out the door without making a sound, no goodbye, no real expilnation, changed life more than you know.  I know you are off in your own world, your own life, with no reminders of us, and even though i no you are still living i sometimes feel as if your gone for good.  We havent exchanged one word in over three months now, and sadly you have changed so much I am not sure if your personality measures up one bit to what it use to be.  I never knew that people have the ability inside of them to make a complete 360 degree change of themselves including their morals because that is one thing i thought stuck with you forever.   I never knew someone who would offer the world to me would turn into THE most selfish and thoughtless person i have come across so far in my life.

Im sorry if this made anyone feel uneasy after reading it, but shit with my family is realllllllly starting to piss me the hell off and i just needed to vent! thanks for understanding : )

And i could try and write and write and write about all my thoughts and all my feelings about love, life, and wutever may be in my life, but there is no way anyone will ever understand and there is no way it will ever be able to even be put into words.  This summer has been almos the opposite of what i have expected, but yet its been amazing in many ways.  I have lost a person i fell deeply in love with over the years and for once im moving on.  Im not sure if its the best thing, the right thing, or even if i should be doing it, but i am and i am happy.  Its been the hardest thing and it still hurts at times, but i know right now i need this.  I miss alot of things and im scared i may never find it again, but if its meant to be it will be.  Im used to the comfort of her body against mine, her touch, and ever feeling shes given me.  Im used to those feelings.  I miss those feelings, not necessiarly her.  When someone hurts you so badly and so many times you cant let them walk over you again and again even if you love them because obvisouly they didnt care enough to go and brake your heart so many times.  Time will tell everything.

Fear and Blame

just because im afraid and just because i dont want to get hurt.

only reasons why i cant and wont be with you right now.

i dont want any regrets. people fuck up. you have and so can i.